Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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