Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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