Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
