Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
