She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
