So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize