I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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