Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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