I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
