and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think your dad took our porno
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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