No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
