Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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