you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
