Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
