I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
