help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
