it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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