1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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