I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
