Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
