Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
