look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize