Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
