She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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