the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
