don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
