Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
