Just fell off a train. Bad.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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