ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
