Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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