wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
