I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
