Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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