**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
