im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
