I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
