What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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