I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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