I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize