i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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