This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
