i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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