I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
