Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
