Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If I had your ass I would rule the world
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
