I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
