He had one of those small greek statue penises
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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