guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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