It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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