Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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