There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
