Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just made my gag reflex go away.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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