So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
