I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
