hotel room ftw
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
