wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
