Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
