And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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