I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will pee on everything he values.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
