And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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