she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
