A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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