Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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